


the ghost of you, it keeps me awake

by ladanse



Series: apparitions [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, DID I SAY PAIN, Gen, Pain, also, except later, season 2 episode 1 of rebels, snips & skyguy, zygerria slave arc and rako hardeen arc of clone wars are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7918594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladanse/pseuds/ladanse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahsoka knows that pilot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the ghost of you, it keeps me awake

**Author's Note:**

> i watched rebels season 2 the first episode and i had feels. this is too much, honestly. when will they leT ME REST,,,
> 
> title from ella henderson's "ghost"

 

Ahsoka knows that pilot.

 

She knows them. She _must_. She recognizes the way they duck and dodge the _Ghost's_ cannon blasts with ease, despite Kanan's Force-enhanced aim. The modifications on the TIE fighter are familiar in the way a dream is - once, somewhere, she must have imagined them. The uniform grey, instead of traditional black checks - the wings turned inward, compact like a vulture droid -

 

\- _ugly, aren't they, Snips, these TIES? And the least maneuverable thing you've ever tried to fly - no wonder they're so easy to take down_ -

 

She shuts the voice out of her head. It's getting easier, after so many years.

 

\- _but take the wings, curl them inwards, think of the whip-turns you could pull off, the ship would barely need stabilizers_ -

 

Ezra is saying something over the comms. He feels cold; so does Kanan. Ahsoka knows this means something, and letting Kanan's hand on her shoulder enhance her view into the Force -

 

\- _and imagine the spinning you could do._

 

Several things happen at once. The TIE fighter spins in an impossibly tight loop in front of them, like an old Nabooan long-nose. Ezra says, _Sith Lord_ , without using the actual words. The cold presence invades her mind - so much hate, so much fear - and she _recognizes_ it. She knows that fear like Form II, like ships, like nights spent laughing with Rex. Master-Padawan bonds run deeper than anyone thinks -

 

Ahsoka's eyes snap open, and she cannot stop to be horrified that her first thought is _Thank Force_ instead of revulsion. The sudden hatred coursing along her long-unused thread of the Jedi bond, a bond kept treasured like beads in the slats of a mechno-arm, knocks her out in Kanan's shocked grip.

 

When she comes to, her thoughts are no longer grateful.

 

Anakin's presence has always inspired her to hope, but with age the reckless surge of happiness in her chest is swiftly dampened to a deep despair. A _Sith Lord_ , like those of the Clone Wars - like Sidious, or Tyrannus.

 

She cannot be grateful, though her Master is alive, because there are fates worse than death. She remembers Palpatine and she remembers Zygerria, and Obi-Wan's stories of a slave boy in the Tatooine desert, and she knows Anakin must not be his own master, not anymore.

 

He tried to kill her, but she aches for him.

 

She has seen him at his worst - or at least, his worst before _this_ \- when they both thought Obi-Wan was dead, and she had stuck by him; fallen into his recklessness and anger in hopes that she could keep him from veering too far. This time, she knows that despite all her training, all the years of hard living and weary experience, that she cannot save him. But she also knows that will not stop her from trying.

 

Ahsoka left him once, and he let her. She cannot leave him again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm thinking of doing a companion piece from vader's pov.  
> also i <3 y'all :)
> 
> edit: companion piece is up! it's sleeping all these demons away and you can find it on my profile, because idk how to link it here


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